Seven minutes is a long time to sit still, to keep the kids quiet and to actually watch a video. With sound on. But, ladies, I think we all need to take the time and do this.
Because this seven-minute fourth trimester video by YouTube gem Laura Clery is, honestly, the most poignant, brilliant, heartbreaking, relatable thing I’ve seen in a long time.
The fourth trimester video we all need to watch
Behind closed doors. No filters. Just the thoughts of a new mum recovering from birth, the actions of a couple with a toddler and newborn, and the words of an imperfect mum who perfectly sums up just how hard it really is.
How blissful and terrible, how painful and perfect, how fun and frustrating it really is.
This is something most people are not brave enough to ever film, let alone share. But most women aren’t Laura. She’s a pretty amazing human being and a pretty amazing mum, even though she hates arts and crafts and says f*ck a lot.
‘Up and down in a disturbing yet joyous fog’
Through several shots of her life as a new mum, she explains what it’s like to struggle with joy, fear, frustration, pain, sleep deprivation, guilt and every other emotion under the sun.
She shares her innermost thoughts, as she hides in the bathroom, naked and crying, as she watches her husband sleep next to her, as she feeds both her newborn and toddler from her swollen, leaking breasts. As she withdraws from her friends and stares at herself in the mirror, unable to recognise herself anymore.
As she cries through her words, as she admits she isn’t herself, as she struggles to do anything but keep her kids alive.
Laura is as real as real gets. And it’s absolutely beautiful to watch. Watch it to the end if you can. It’s worth it.
Did you watch it all? Amazing, right? As Laura points out, many mums feel like this. I certainly did, especially with my second and third babies. But many mums don’t want to admit it.
As Laura says in her fourth trimester video,
Maybe none of you relate to my words. Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones. Or maybe you’re scared and ashamed of what people will think of you.
If you admit too that you wrestle with darkness. that it somehow means you don’t love your kids as much. But I know that you do.
Or that you’re openly struggling means that you’re somehow ungrateful for all that you have. But I know you’re not.
If this is you, please say I.”
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